It's feeding time...

My bare feet touched the bathroom tile after my bath; I nearly wept. The incredible sweep through my soul of such a soothing and guiding spiritual hand that I know is from God was nearly undoing, but I had to keep it together because I'm human and I have human affairs to tend to.

What would happen if I let myself stand barefoot several times a day in the bathroom, the only uncarpeted area in my small apartment that my cat doesn't also tread on? I imagine standing there with the ZenJournal app open on my phone, chronicling the many emotions and deep spiritual experiences that happen during this simple but ancient spiritual practice that is globally shared--getting bare feet as close as possible to the earth itself.

Since starting to practice Yoga I have had little emotional breakthroughs in my mind and body which have run on nervous, high-energy tension all of my life. Experiencing the thoughts and feelings that I encounter after Yoga is something so subtle in its depth that I have to remind myself to slow down, take notice, and really let myself feel it and process these precious moments.

Since starting to practice Yoga I have noticed that both my body and my mind have experienced little shifts, most notably the sudden honesty and awareness of ego in myself as I am suddenly aware of my thoughts. How selfish and self-driven has my earthly experience been? We tell ourselves little lies to get through the day, the night, our entire lives. We become comfortable, complacent.

I have become aware of something about the ego and its purpose, to keep us driven and performing to the best of our ability. I have come to arrive at a thought that feels so new that it may even be unique, and it startles me: The concept of 'Compassionate Competition'. Slowing down and letting myself feel each moment and appreciating with compassionate embracing of my entire being that my urge to compete with myself is good enough and that I don't need to compete against someone else. That the personal convictions within and the personal goals that I establish for myself are better for me than yet one more thing that I allow the outside world to determine for me.

I am walking away from pressure. I am releasing chaos and tension. I am leaving behind a world of tension and spiritual masochism, and entering into the new Journey toward Enlightenment which may be really less hokey than it has sounded to me, and really might be my own personal Journey toward Salvation.

-L